WOAH! Welcome to Ice and The Face #173! Tonight, Rick and Sarah welcome back, Stonz! Together, we march with very high knees through the cesspool of existence, guffawing at this and that, drinking vodka by the gallon just to cope, and basically just chuckle-farting our way through such mind-bending topics as: Testicular condoms, garbage people, a pool on the roof of a mini-van, KFC bath bombs, old funny medical procedures, wiping with corn cobs, a masturbating nose-picker, Wiki-How to Avoid Chiggers, weaponized Swiffers, attacking your dad whilst naked, a tooth growing in a woman’s nose, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
Hello, greasy younglings. Today we gather here to celebrate the release of episode #171 -10.19.17- of Ice and The Face, and with some choice meats and tender vittles, we climb the highest peaks of stupor and stare directly into the eyes of destiny. Along for the ride is our frozen trail marker, Stonz, ever pointing the way forward on this journey to the supposed “great” beyond, where, for three minutes, we become aware of our own shitty, unremarkable lives. Join us, as we spelunk deep inside the caves of the regular world where we uncover the sick truths of such incredible topics as: Being frozen for a million years, fun with dead bodies on Mount Everest, cave people voices, the moments after sweet death, eating placentas, heavy breathing, people eating your waste, bathroom stories from Nashville, escaping your nagging significant other by fading into the forest, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
YES! THIS is Ice and The Face #167 -9.16.17- and it is here to shake you and scream gibberish at your face until you pass out! Tonight, we, Rick and Sarah, pull on our flashiest and most fashionable banana leotards and funkify your evening. Skipping merrily beside us is our blindest friend, Stonz. So strap yourselves in to your roomiest pillow fort and get ready to be whisked away to a miserable world full of whimsy and also depressing topics such as: Sea creatures vs land creatures, emotionless living, butter knife booby traps, a blob of fat and garbage in the sewer, legal farting, rough-housing and horsing around, problems with feces on dates, shooting at hurricanes, nose jobs gone wrong, eating pigeons, cockroach milk, sharks in the basement, breast milk, adventures at the urinal, motel living, extremely long eyelashes, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
WOAH! THIS is Ice and The Face #166 – 9.1.17! Welcome back to the show. Yes, we know, saying “welcome back” implies that you’ve been away, when, in truth, we are the ones who’ve been gone. Yes, we were missing for several weeks, trapped in a small village just north of the Himalayas. We traversed an ancient land, learning the ways of the locals, sampling exotic delicacies (mostly random animal penis cooked over open flame), and coming to understand that humanity is, for the most part, shitty in every corner of the land. People are filled with the same self-defeating insecurities, mind-numbing small talk banter, and cheerless moments spent with family members they can barely tolerate. It is with this knowledge in tow that Rick and Sarah made their way back to the studio, blind man Stonz accompanying, and sat down to the microphones, ready to return to our miserable land of depression, only to ask ourselves, did we ever really leave it at all? To that end, bask in our joyous light as we dance hither and thither with such epic topics as: Halloween themed condoms, fun with urine, bus stop syphilis, ambulance revenge, parrots who snitch, self-inflicted cinder block wounds, inadvertently fishing for drunks, your dominant ball, found guns, people who put sunblock in their eyes during the eclipse, whitewater rafting for the blind, unsightly folk, prostate fish, penis candles and crystal meth, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
HI! This is Ice and The Face #162 -7.20.17- and after teaching our cat how to fly a kite and get sweet abs, we decided to grace your head-wounds with a series of miserable side-quests you wish you didn’t have to deal with in order to hit 100%! On this journey, guided by the stupor of a blind man named Stonz, we venture forth into the great unknown, and find out it isn’t all that great. In fact, we find out that “great” in “great unknown” is just more of a catchphrase than anything relating to real life. So, I guess, just follow us through the lava-pits of hell we call the human condition, and probably do some drugs too, or whatever. So grab your sturdiest leather harness, saddle up, and let your ears rejoice in such topics as: The benefits of not naming your baby, sex in medieval times, a rock shaped like a penis in Norway, police in a stand off with an empty house for 14 hours, old school law, recreating the penis from scratch, testicles and evolution, meat and your sex drive, drowning during baptism, Mike Tyson henna tattoo burns, legally eating roadkill, a guy stuck inside an ATM machine, pulling your kids in a wagon behind your car, swords in Texas, the father of a bride struck by lightning, finding dead rodents in your food, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
Welcome to the dream! Ice and The Face #159 -6.29.17- is here to soothe all that burning you’re dealing with! Tonight, Rick and Sarah go Yankee-doodling with a person for sure, Stonz! Together, we get to rock climbing, lifting ourselves far above the dark city of regular normie life. Looking down in total confusion, sneering with great abandon and unmitigated gall, we allow our senses to absorb as much as three human beings can possibly endure to expend cleanly filtered truths on such zany topics as: Hobby-horsing, hot dog drones, humanoid hot dog issues, evidently irritating men’s clothing, hairy men, vests, car horns that quack, 17th century fart jars, Porta-Potty huffing, strange bar rules, how diamonds and gold are stupid, the impending helium shortage, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
What in the?! HEY, it’s Ice and The Face #156 -6.2.17- and it is here to fix your mouth and face up all bright! Tonight, Rick and Sarah welcome back, person we know, Stonz! Together, we erect a tent beneath the apocalyptic mushroom clouds of day to day life, and whilst rocking back and forth, humming along to the war drums of irate normies, we chuckle warmly and deliver our views on topics as million-dollar-strong as: Kids and the end times, Carl theories, glass eyes and whatnot, unexpected porn search misspellings, porning with bros, fishing with McNuggets, mistakes with cocaine, man-sized penguins, saving boogers, booger-sculptures, birds who deliver ecstasy pills, penguin fighting, cycling mistakes, eating your own toes, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
CIAO! This is Ice and The Face #153 -5.12.17- and it will steam your sticky buns! Tonight, along with Stonz, the sightless wanderer, Rick and Sarah clog-dance into eternity on the backs of the forlorn. Join us as we go galloping forward, stalwart and resilient, into the uncharted depths of the pitiful and pockmarked human mindscape, to uncover truths on such heated and contested topics as: A theoretical Willy Wonka condom factory, whether or not Oompa Loompas are human enough, fun with bears, contact lenses with feces on them, smelling your finger for the greater good, unintentionally uncomfortable things adults say, people killed by cows, when mimes are shot, if you could choose someone to eat you after you die, spandex, fun with cat urine, moonshiner-shoes, faking eating breakfast to escape the law, the thing the singer Meatloaf wouldn’t do for love, when you wander into a furry convention by accident, and whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
Hey good lookin’! THIS is Ice and The Face #151 -4.28.17- and it will rip your still beating heart from your chest and hold it up and show it to you before you die! Tonight, Sarah and Rick welcome long-term friend, Stonz! Together, we put on our polka-dot boots and wade knees-deep through the ever-expanding sewers of human thoughts and behaviors. Thus, with all our strength, we hold on tight to the very net of sanity, and as one unit, drag the very bottom of the sludge pit, pulling ashore such absolutely pee-burning topics as: When a condom isn’t enough, the ins and outs of an unexpected dark arse, fun with donkeys, see-through plastic pants, dirty pants for sale, a mistake by ADIDAS, babies grown in bags, a boy who got hosed and learned his lesson, when community outreach goes weird, sexy carp calendars, beers for the homeless, we learn what happens when your hand gets stuck in a toilet, golf balls in your hash browns, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!
ALOHA! This is Ice and The Face #148 -3.30.17- and it will unleash a firestorm of brainwaves so hot your mind will melt! Tonight, Sarah and Rick roll out a tattered, puke-stained, red carpet for our “special” guest, Stonz! As a team, we stand beneath the Volcano of Stupidity, and marvel at the sheer size of the idiotic plume of idiotic ashes! Shielding our delicate eyes from the volcanic splatterings of improperly expelled human energies, we put on gas masks and navigate our way out the jungles of normie-living to excavate some inconvenient truths on such astounding topics as: Kids crapping in a plastic toilet at the bar, infants at the strip club, Jon Gosselin for some reason, a guy humping a cement mixer, neanderthal romance, prehistoric dildos/hammers, Wheel of Fortune mishaps, Coca-Cola and human feces, problems with a guy’s anus and a bull’s horn, bad ideas for reality TV, a girl whose shadow looks like Rihanna, interesting historical dates, a Santa who sells cocaine, a guy who took a dump in a confessional booth because God told him to, a guy who built his own tank, testicles that clack or spark, and a whole lot more! Thank you all very much for listening!