Left Blinker, Right Turn

Recently, within one single week, I drove behind three separate cars who applied their turn signal, and then, turned in the opposite direction. I found this problematic….but not right away. When it’s one person, I can be all like, “Uh…what an asshole.” I can accept any handful of human meteorites who absolutely HAD to cross my path because I seem to be a magnet for this sort of thing. However, even a magnet with this kind of Herculean strength should never witness this same dumbass identical event on three fucking separate occasions in one single week.


The second one happened. Blinker on, opposite turn. This is a huge and, I believe, understandable semi-slow, “What…the..fuck…” moment. It is a little shocking when it dawns on you that this JUST happened like a day or two ago. You start thinking things like, “Something is going on here. I’m going to tell so and so about this later…” And then, you may or may not remember to tell so and so later, but when the third fucking time happens…


When the third fucking time happens, you write articles about it because this is an event that just may illustrate a backslide in human progression. A reached peak. Why did it happen? Why did the stats change so suddenly? Were people on their phones? Are folks so wrapped up in themselves, they can’t muster the common courtesy of paying just enough attention to the outside world to guarantee a correct blinker selection? Or, are folks just slobbering garbage cans of meat and barely discernible thoughts melting in an invisible cloud of ever-expanding global radiation we used to just assume was oxygen?


I’d like to say it doesn’t matter. Just cap this off and accept it as three random similar dumb occurrences. Who knows? Maybe it’s not a sign of the apocalypse after all, but I know this; you can follow the rules all you want, but we are only SEMI-programmable chaos, so be careful when it comes to the human condition because nothing has ever actually happened until it’s actually happened.

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